The Guy rule that backfired

Ok, so i got this forward and decided to send to everyone i knew. My sister replied to the forward with this...
And i thought that i had a sense of humour.


The Guys' RULE!!!

FINALLY the guys' side of the story.
We always hear 'THE RULES'
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE! …. So you admit you cant count beyond 1…..And I thought men were good with numbers.

1. Men are NOT mind readers. ….. yes that's true… you need a mind to be able to read.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. …Neither is x boxing or ps 123xyz
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail. …. So don't make us cry.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! …. I want a set of beautiful diamond solitares from de Beers. I want to go choose it myself with you in tow.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. .... ok… 'no' you cant play golf tomorrow.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. …. Ok… I need to spend 3000 bucks in two hours to buy gifts I LIKE in one shop without getting physically tired. SOLVE
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor. …… is the doctor handsome?

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. ....please refer to rule 1 of your rule ones. (u need a mind to retain information….)

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. ....If u consider round a shape for the human male species don't expect Victoria's secret greeting you at your door once you get home. Expect a puddy tat.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. …. Who's us? I asked you …. Did you pass that on?

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ….. if theres something we spent on your add on card that was way over your minds imagination, remember we were just adding points to the card for more air miles and not actually spending a whole lot of cash.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. ….. I think the best way to sort out bills is to stuff them in a dustbin… that's something I can do myself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ….. please say whatever you have to in between phone calls.

1. Christopher Columbus didNOTneed directions and neither do we. ….. FACT… please note that he was looking for India and he found America

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. … ......please refer to rule 1 of your rule ones…

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. ….why would you ask what is wrong then? You see we know you know whats wrong… you just don't have the balls to accept it. …. Or the brains… but whats the difference anyway.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. ….. Are you going to wake up now… or not?... answer carefully.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really …..:) we have to have something fine to wear in order to wear it dummy!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf. ….and don't ask us what's for dinner or what our plans are for after dinner unless you're prepared to discuss topics such as frozen vegetables, raw meat, a good back massage by your husband after he comes home from work.

1. You have enough clothes. ….. but not the right jewellery

1. You have too many shoes. ….. and you have too many golf sets and golf balls.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! .... so is a blimp… don't imagine you look anything better than it if that's what your shape is.

1. Thank you for reading this. …. You are welcome…. I enjoyed it.

2. Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh!